It’s winter, it’s January, so could everyone please stop talking about the snow and the cold weather like it’s some unexpected natural disaster. Snow falls in winter… But why, when councils everywhere have all but doubled our council tax, are they not using that cash to grit the roads? A&E departments nationwide have been struggling to cope with ice-related accidents this week – many of them caused by ungritted roads and pavements. So, where’s all our money going – into council workers’ pensions and pay packets?

My New Year’s wish is that Air Force One swoops into Downing Street and kidnaps Reeves, Starmer and the muppet Lammy and dumps them in the same New York prison cell as Venezuela’s deposed president Nicholas Maduro and his dodgy wife Cilia Flores. They’d have lots to talk about – like how to turn a once great country into an economic basket case for starters!

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Gwyneth Paltrow says the vicious backlash from her “consciously uncoupling” break up statement got her fired from a movie. Course it did. It sounded nuts.

She was breaking up with Coldplay’s Chris Martin and trying to make it sound like it was something noble – not about two people who couldn’t bear to be around each other anymore. She says: “I understand why it was so personal for people. You only see that kind of reaction when it’s personal.”

No, Gwynnie, you see that kind of reaction when people think you’re an up-yer-bum, flaky, woke snowflake who thinks the phrase “splitting up” is too common and wanted her break-up to sound a bit more elegant!

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Keir Starmer wants to send British troops to Ukraine although God knows how he can afford to with a £28billion black hole in the defence budget.

This is yet another ill-thought out, expensive mistake from a PM who hasn’t a clue what he’s doing. Deploying British troops will do beggar-all to help Ukrainians. President Zelensky has already said he’d need a peacekeeping force of 200,000 to protect the country’s borders and Europe, in total, can only muster a fraction of that so it will achieve nothing.

And what happens if Putin attacks them? What then? World War Three? The only real guarantee of Ukraine’s future security is its capacity to defend itself, which is why European leaders should be giving it the weapons it needs to defend itself instead of putting our soldiers in harm’s way.

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Actor David Tennant has changed his real surname – McDonald – to his “star” name Tennant. Why? Is he trying to forget who he really is and where he came from?

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Brooklyn Beckham was apparently so “overwhelmed” by his parents constantly tagging his social media posts that he “blocked” Posh and Becks online and instructed lawyers to send a letter banning them from contacting or tagging him.

Apparently, the final straw was when Victoria “liked” a roast chicken video he’d posted. OMG imagine the shock, the horror, the mental anguish of that – tipped over the edge by a roast chicken? This dope is a warning of what happens when super-rich parents indulge and pander to their (thick) precocious children.

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In a one-line Facebook post, the Home Office – which is clearly doing stand-up comedy now – says it has deported 50,000 migrants since Labour came to power.

So, where’s the evidence? Show us the photos of them being loaded onto planes. Because the only photo on that Facebook post was of one solitary immigrant being led up the steps of a plane by six blokes in high-vis jackets.

This government really does take us all for fools. If it really had deported that many people it would have been shouting it from the rooftops, boasting about it at endless press conferences and shoving it up the noses of Farage and Badenoch.

Instead, it puts out a one-line Facebook post. Go figure!!

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In a Radio Times interview, Dawn French says: “I accept I have a reputation as a trustworthy, cardigan-wearing, decent human.” Not anymore, she doesn’t. Not after that vile, deranged Twitter video where she mocked the Israeli victims of the October 7 Hamas attack.

Hasn’t she realised yet that disgusting video shocked and appalled people? Doesn’t she get we now see her for exactly the kind of person she is – the kind who, in a stupid, whiny voice, thought it was funny to mock the rape, torture and wholesale slaughter of teenage girls, young men, babies, mothers?

What kind of human does that? I literally can’t watch her in anything anymore – not even those M&S Christmas ads – because they literally turn my stomach. French used to be a national treasure.

Now there’s a name for her I can’t print!